


sehnsucht

by moonsprite



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25037098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsprite/pseuds/moonsprite
Summary: sehnsucht (n.) - an inconsolable longing, pining, or yearning for ideal alternative experiencesOr, four times you wished your relationship with Oikawa Tooru was different, and one time he defied all your expectations.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 60





	sehnsucht

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted to tumblr @sosugasweet!

**i. morning dew**

You pant, hands on your knees as you try desperately to catch your breath. It had been a close call, but you barely made it onto the train. When the compartment lurches forward with a hiss of the doors, you nearly fall on your face if not for an arm around your waist.

You look up to see a mess of light chestnut hair and a smile so bright that it makes you momentarily forget your awkward position.

“Oof, that was a close one - hey, are you alright?”

At your wide-eyed lack of response, the boy winks and pulls you upright, shifting so that you can hold onto an empty hanging strap.

“You go to the same school as me, hm? I haven’t seen you around before.”

Suddenly your throat feels parched. You swallow thickly before managing a semblance of a response.

“I don’t usually take this train… thanks for earlier.”

He offers you that smile again, easy and warm. You get the feeling he is popular at school.

“No problem. Don’t fall for me now!”

  
  


**ii. sunflower**

You learn that his name is Oikawa Tooru and he is, in fact, the most popular guy at school. It should have been no surprise, but you haven’t been paying your social surroundings that much attention. Transferring in your second year meant you were more concerned with your grades and adapting, but seeing the famous volleyball captain walk down the hallway surrounded by fawning fangirls, you wonder how you managed to not notice before.

“Hey, train girl. How’s the knee?”

You look up from your seat on the back stairwell to see him standing before you, hand on his hip and a box in his hand.

“Good, thanks to you.” Seems like he noticed the way your legs slightly buckled when you got off the train. Why was it so hard to make eye contact with him?

“It’s a nice view, isn’t it?” Your gaze flickers towards him again, just to find him seated comfortably next to you on the concrete, looking out at the greenery that surrounds the school.

“Yeah.” You don’t question why the most popular guy in school is sitting alone with you at lunch in the quiet back stairwell where no one goes. Attention must be tiring, even for him and his blinding smile.

“So can I get a name, or are you just train girl?”

You huff but tell him your name. He sounds it out, rolling it about in his mouth like a piece of hard candy.

“That’s a nice name. Reminds me of a flower.”

“Which one?”

He responds with a laugh, short and light. You wonder how his eyes sparkle when the two of you are sitting in shadow.

“Not telling.”

Maybe he liked secrets. But that was alright, you had the time to pull them out of him. 

“Then what’s your name?”

He snorts this time, then stifles it with his hand and coughs a few times. You hide your amusement at his surprise from his own reaction.

“Are you teasing me now?”

“I told you my name. Or are you just train boy?”

“At least call me train man!”

“You want to be called train man?”

“... Oikawa Tooru.”

You blink slowly as you repeat his name, and he nods with satisfaction.

“Don’t wear it out, now!”

After the bell rings and he leaves, you stay in the stairwell for a few quiet moments. Oikawa Tooru. When you say it out loud, it feels like you can taste the contours in his name, feel the spaces that fill with your breath.

It feels hollow.

  
  


**iii. courtside**

You wait with baited breath, the loud squeak of shoes on the waxed floor doing nothing to block out the squeals and cheers of the local fanbase.

One, two, a jump, and the ball slams into the floor on the other side of the net. The crowd roars, and you feel your heart slam against your ribcage like you were the one he touched with those fingers, looked at with that gaze.

You savored your occasional quiet moments in the stairwell, but here, in the middle of a heated match, the sweat beading on his forehead, you don’t know if you’ve ever seen him so alive.

So alive, you almost shy away from his energy. At this moment, more than ever, Oikawa Tooru is untouchable, most certainly out of your reach.

“Tooru-kun!!” The girls scream again, and you return your attention to the court. He looks up and offers a wink and smile offhandedly before Iwaizumi bonks him on the head and he turns around with a pout.

The rest of the game continues without much incident, and the crowd surges out of the gym to meet the athletes when they finally exit the locker rooms.

You stop to get a drink from a vending machine before heading out, and just as you pass through the front doors, you spot him, surrounded by girls. It shouldn’t bother you so much, not when the sight is a daily occurrence, but you can’t bring yourself to look away.

His words from one of your “lunchtime rendezvous,” as he calls them, ring in your ears.

  


_“Aren’t you lonely eating lunch out here like this? Why don’t you eat in the classroom?”_

_“You don’t have to be alone to be lonely. And I like how peaceful it is here, I can soak up all the vitamin D I need without anyone bothering me.”_

_“I’m honestly shocked you haven’t gotten sunburned yet.”_

_“Even the sun loves me, surprise!”_

_“Oikawa… if I wasn’t busy eating lunch, I would hit you.”_

_“Sounds like someone needs some vitamin D! Or did you mean hit on me?”_

_“As if you’d hang out here if that was the case.”_

_“Don’t worry, I know how to handle admirers! ...Are you saying you’d be lonely if I didn’t show up?”_

_“I should be saying that to you.”_

_“Ehehe!”_

  


He could accuse you of being lonely but couldn’t even admit to his own loneliness. As you watch the fangirls slowly disperse as Iwaizumi calls for Oikawa to “get his ass over here,” you wonder when he doesn’t feel lonely.

You wonder if the back stairwell is no exception.

  
  


**iv. 70% precipitation**

You’re used to the quiet of the stairwell, but you’re not used to Oikawa-quiet.

It feels like the morning fog, a cold and wet blanket that descends over you and muffles even the sound of your own breathing.

Rain pelts the ground, tree leaves swaying slightly under the onslaught. You didn’t expect to see him today, of all days. But there he is, sitting next to the door, hair damp and sticking to his forehead despite the roof that covers the landing.

You want to ask why he looks like a dog left out in the rain, why he’s here in this condition when he knows you’ll be here, why he has his head buried in his knees and won’t even look at you.

But you can’t ask any of those things, can’t open your mouth to say a word, can’t move your hand to pat his head reassuringly.

So you just sit next to him and open your lunchbox, hoping that the rain will stop soon. Even though you packed your favorite dishes, you barely manage to swallow your food. It feels like you are slowly choking, and you blame the rain for the moisture that silently runs down your cheeks.

Why could you never do anything when it mattered the most?

  
  
**v. colors**

“Hey, watch your step, train girl.”

Just as you’re about to pass through the school doors, you stiffen at the sound of a familiar voice. Umbrella in hand, you slowly turn around to see Oikawa standing behind you in his team jacket. Maybe they finished practice early because of the rain.

“I thought we were past that, train boy.”

He chuckles and slips underneath your umbrella as you unfurl it in the front yard.

“Come on, let’s go. The trains await no one!”

You snort. “You mean time awaits no one?”

He tosses you his usual indignant expression before sticking his tongue out.

“Chase you to the station, last one is a stinky fish!”

“Oi, did you forget it’s raining?”

You call after him but it’s too late, his figure rapidly disappearing into the afternoon sun shower. He jumps from bus stop to storefront in search of shelter from the rain, his jacket tossed carelessly over his head. Was he always this impulsive?

The sunlight glitters like jewels in the puddles that dot the sidewalk, and you shake your head laughing as you chase after him. Life was too short to deny yourself the chance to run after Oikawa for once, rain or shine.

Of course you don’t beat him, and it’s only when you reach the station entrance that you see him, back leaning against the nearby lamppost.

“Took you long enough, stinky fish!”

“Hey, you’re the one that just took off! And it was raining, for goodness’s sake!”

“It’s not raining anymore, you know.”

At his words, you blink and lower your umbrella to look up. Sure enough, the clouds had parted and the afternoon sun beamed down warmly. Then a flicker of color in the corner of your vision, and when you turned to your right, there was a vivid rainbow stretching across the sky.

“Thanks.”

You turn to look at him, confused, but he’s still looking up at the rainbow. The sunlight washes golden over him and you fight the urge to stare.

“For what?”

He slips his hands into his pockets, fidgeting a little before responding.

“For being there, rain or shine.”

“The stairwell? But I couldn’t even do anything, I -”

Oikawa cuts you off with a look, and your breath catches in your throat.

“You showed me the importance of rain. There’s no rainbow without rain, right?”

Mind whirring, you feel your face go hot at the implication.

“You mean - you saw -”

“It’s not raining anymore. So you don’t need to sit there by yourself. It’ll be ok.”

A smile creeps on your lips with a touch of self-deprecation. Of course he had figured it out. How had you ended up being the one comforted here?

“Fine. But next time you better carry the umbrella.”

“W-Wait, you mean-”

“Come on, last one on the train is a stinky fish!”

Laughing, you race down the stairs into the subway, folding your umbrella as you turn the corner. If Oikawa thought he could play with metaphors, he’d have to practice to get at your level. 

Still, thanks to him, you now looked forward to the next rainy day. Maybe you’d bring your extra pink and frilly umbrella to school - now that would be quite the sight to behold.


End file.
